Books [William Mills]
Then I came up north and the weather was so cold, so doggone cold, the first year I was up North that the farmers had to put in steam heat in the cow's belly to keep her from giving ice cream.
Why, it got so cold that I tried to talk with another fellow and when we opened out mouths to speak the words froze up and dropped on the ground. Do you know we had to pick up the frozen words and thaw them out so that we could find out what we were saying to each other.
Why, one time in Philadelphia it got so cold that, especially down in the center of the city, William Penn got down off the top of City Hall, put his hands in his pockets, walked in a drugstore and said, “Phew. This is the coldest day I've seen in many a year.”
Man, I live on One Hundred and Thirty-third Street. And that's the toughest street in New York. Why, it's so tough that all the canaries sing bass. And all of the toughest fellows live on one end of the street. And, Man, I'm so tough I have to live four miles past the tough end.
It was a woman who just came to New York from Way Down South out in the country. She stayed in a flat in Harlem with some of her folks. One day they left her alone in the house to watch the children. Soon the buzzer of the dumb-waiter sounded. This old lady opened the dumb-waiter door and she heard a voice. So she shouted,