My stepdaughter and I circle round and round. You see, I like the music loud, the speakers throbbing, jam-packing the room with sound whether Bach or rock and roll, the volume cranked up so each bass note is like a hand smacking the gut. But my stepdaughter disagrees. She is four and likes the music decorous, pitched below her own voice-that tenuous projection of self. With music blasting, she feels she disappears, is lost within the blare, which in fact I like. But at four what she wants is self-location and uses her voice as a porpoise uses its sonar: to find herself in all this space. If she had a sort of box with a peephole and looked inside, what she'd like to see would be herself standing there in her red pants, jacket, yellow plastic lunch box: a proper subject for serious study. But me, if I raised the same box to my eye, I would wish to find the ocean on one of those days when wind and thick cloud make the water gray and restless as if some creature brooded underneath, a rocky coast with a road along the shore where someone like me was walking and has gone. Loud music does this, it wipes out the ego, leaving turbulent water and winding road, a landscape stripped of people and language- how clear the air becomes, how sharp the colors.
—Stephen Dobyns
Rights & Access
From Cemetery Nights, 1988
Penguin
Copyright 1988 by Stephen Dobyns.
All rights reserved.
Reprinted by permission of Penguin from Cemetery Nights. Copyright 1988 by Stephen Dobyns.
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Stephen Dobyns
Stephen Dobyns (1941- ) is the author of more than ten poetry collections, including Winter’s Journey (Copper Canyon Press, 2010).